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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 08:59
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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 08:59
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As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ? however slight ? lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
Barab?si\'s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
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A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
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Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
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A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
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The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
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Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Don\'t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It\'s the transition that\'s troublesome.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
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Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Ever notice when you blow in a dog\'s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
Don\'t be so humble - you are not that great.
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
You can pretend to be serious; you can\'t pretend to be witty.
If you can\'t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you\'d best teach it to dance.
If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
I don\'t know why we are here, but I\'m pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
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Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
Those are my principles. If you don\'t like them I have others.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
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O\'Toole\'s Corollary of Finagle\'s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
Those are my principles. If you don\'t like them I have others.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
We don\'t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
You\'re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
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Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn\'t over until everyone gets their cookies.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
I\'m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
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Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
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TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
It\'s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Those are my principles. If you don\'t like them I have others.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Many a man\'s reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I\'ve only ever had one.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
They couldn\'t hit an elephant at this dist--
I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels?!
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a \'C\', the idea must be feasible.
I\'ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I\'ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Three o\'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
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Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
If quantum physics doesn\'t confuse you then you don\'t understand it.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
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Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
Many a man\'s reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll be glad to make an exception.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
Emulate your heros, but don\'t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
I\'m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
Once you\'ve written TBicycle, you never forget how.
I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
After I\'m dead I\'d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
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The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
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The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
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Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
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Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
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When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
If you can count your money, you don\'t have a billion dollars.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Devlin\'s First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin\'s Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called \'Ego\'.
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Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn\'t it.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they\'re yours.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
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The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
I don\'t know anything about music. In my line you don\'t have to.
I\'m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
I\'m trying to see things from your point of view but I can\'t get my head that far up my ass.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
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One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
Don\'t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn\'t over until everyone gets their cookies.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
Hanlon\'s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
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Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
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One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one\'s work is terribly important.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
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A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
I\'d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
A physicist is an atom\'s way of knowing about atoms.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it\'s fantastic.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
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The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a \'C\', the idea must be feasible.
We don\'t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
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Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/17/(Tue) 07:06
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